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Joke One

The other day, whilst on the bus to work, some little shit thought it would be funny to burp in my face. All his little chums were sitting there laughing. I restrained myself from taking the kid's head off and calmly replied:
"...eurgh - smells like cock."
That shut the little fucker up.

Joke Two

A man goes to Chemist to show off that he does not want it for his ownself :

Viagra milegi? Actually Mujhe kisi ko deni hai.

Chemist bhi maze leta hain : Kamaal hai ji.
Log Viagra kha kar kisi ki lete hain aap pehle customer ho jo viagra le kar kisi ko dene jaoge  


Joke Three

A 4th grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for living?

All the typical answers came up- fireman, mechanic, engineer, businessman and so forth..

However, little Kapil was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father, he replied, “My father’s an exotic dancer in a gay Cabaret and takes of all his clothes to music in front of men and they put money in his purse. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money.”

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and took little Kapil aside.

“Is that really true about your father.”

“No” said the boy, “He works for the congress committee and is helping to get Rahul Gandhi elected in 2014 elections, but it’s too embarrassing to say that in front of other kids.”
 


Joke Four

Little Boy kills a butterfly,
Dad says no butter for two weeks!:-|
Little Boy kills a honeybee,
Dad says no honey for two weeks!:(
Mom kills a cockroach, Little Boy turns to Dad and says, 'Are you gonna tell her or shall I??':>=))=)) 


Joke Five

3 Pathan ek Bus mein Safar kar rahe the. Tabhi ek Pathan ko Paad aaya aur usne ekdam zordaar "Boom-Bhadaam-Dhadaam" Paad maara. Poori Bus hil gayi

Uske thodi der baad doosre Pathan ko Paad aaya aur usne bhi gaand faad "Boom-Bhadaam-Dhadaam" Paad maara... Poori Bus phir se hil gayi

Fir thodi der baad Teesre Pathan ko Paad aaya aur usne dheere se "Fuusssss" Paad maara

Ye dekh kar pehle ke dono Pathan muskuraye aur Teesre Pathan ko chhedte huye ek saath bole :

VIRGIN...VIRGIN...VIRGIN 

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