Joke One
The
other day, whilst on the bus to work, some little shit thought it would
be funny to burp in my face. All his little chums were sitting there
laughing. I restrained myself from taking the kid's head off and calmly
replied:
"...eurgh - smells like cock."
That shut the little fucker up.
Joke Two
A man goes to Chemist to show off that he does not want it for his ownself :
Viagra milegi? Actually Mujhe kisi ko deni hai.
Chemist bhi maze leta hain : Kamaal hai ji.
Log Viagra kha kar kisi ki lete hain aap pehle customer ho jo viagra le kar kisi ko dene jaoge
Joke Three
A 4th grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for living?
All the typical answers came up- fireman, mechanic, engineer, businessman and so forth..
However,
little Kapil was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher
prodded him about his father, he replied, “My father’s an exotic dancer
in a gay Cabaret and takes of all his clothes to music in front of men and they put money
in his purse. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home
with some guy and stay with him all night for money.”
The
teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other
children to work on some exercises and took little Kapil aside.
“Is that really true about your father.”
“No”
said the boy, “He works for the congress committee and is helping to
get Rahul Gandhi elected in 2014 elections, but it’s too embarrassing to
say that in front of other kids.”
Joke Four
Little Boy kills a butterfly,
Dad says no butter for two weeks!:-|
Little Boy kills a honeybee,
Dad says no honey for two weeks!:(
Mom kills a cockroach, Little Boy turns to Dad and says, 'Are you gonna tell her or shall I??':>=))=))
Joke Five
3 Pathan ek Bus mein Safar kar rahe the. Tabhi ek Pathan ko Paad aaya aur usne ekdam zordaar "Boom-Bhadaam-Dhadaam" Paad maara. Poori Bus hil gayi
Uske thodi der baad doosre Pathan ko Paad aaya aur usne bhi gaand faad "Boom-Bhadaam-Dhadaam" Paad maara... Poori Bus phir se hil gayi
Fir thodi der baad Teesre Pathan ko Paad aaya aur usne dheere se "Fuusssss" Paad maara
Ye dekh kar pehle ke dono Pathan muskuraye aur Teesre Pathan ko chhedte huye ek saath bole :
VIRGIN...VIRGIN...VIRGIN
Read More
Joke One
The other day, whilst on the bus to work, some little shit thought it would be funny to burp in my face. All his little chums were sitting there laughing. I restrained myself from taking the kid's head off and calmly replied:
"...eurgh - smells like cock."
That shut the little fucker up.
Joke Two
A man goes to Chemist to show off that he does not want it for his ownself :
Viagra milegi? Actually Mujhe kisi ko deni hai.
Chemist bhi maze leta hain : Kamaal hai ji.
Log Viagra kha kar kisi ki lete hain aap pehle customer ho jo viagra le kar kisi ko dene jaoge
Joke Three
A 4th grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for living?
All the typical answers came up- fireman, mechanic, engineer, businessman and so forth..
However, little Kapil was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father, he replied, “My father’s an exotic dancer in a gay Cabaret and takes of all his clothes to music in front of men and they put money in his purse. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money.”
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and took little Kapil aside.
“Is that really true about your father.”
“No” said the boy, “He works for the congress committee and is helping to get Rahul Gandhi elected in 2014 elections, but it’s too embarrassing to say that in front of other kids.”
Joke Four
Little Boy kills a butterfly,
Dad says no butter for two weeks!:-|
Little Boy kills a honeybee,
Dad says no honey for two weeks!:(
Mom kills a cockroach, Little Boy turns to Dad and says, 'Are you gonna tell her or shall I??':>=))=))
Joke Five
3 Pathan ek Bus mein Safar kar rahe the. Tabhi ek Pathan ko Paad aaya aur usne ekdam zordaar "Boom-Bhadaam-Dhadaam" Paad maara. Poori Bus hil gayi
Uske thodi der baad doosre Pathan ko Paad aaya aur usne bhi gaand faad "Boom-Bhadaam-Dhadaam" Paad maara... Poori Bus phir se hil gayi
Fir thodi der baad Teesre Pathan ko Paad aaya aur usne dheere se "Fuusssss" Paad maara
Ye dekh kar pehle ke dono Pathan muskuraye aur Teesre Pathan ko chhedte huye ek saath bole :
VIRGIN...VIRGIN...VIRGIN
Read More
Joke 1
One of a very close friend of mine 'Suraj Chokhani' has come up with a very noble idea of "Save Food Eradicate Hunger".
The whole concept is after a party in our house we throw away a lot of food on the other hand Lacs of people sleep empty stomach.
He is introducing a Helpline from 15th of August in Kolkata where u can call and they will take away the spare food and distribute it among the less privileged.
Team 'Rajnikant Vs CID Jokes' wishes him all the success in this noble cause.
P.S.:
If anyone of you want to introduce similar programme in ur city u can get in touch with him on surajchokhani@gmail.com
Joke 2
Pappu Asked His Girl-Friend
Pappu: âBetween Me And The Toilet, Who Do You Love Most?â
Girl-Friend: âObviously Its You, Why Do You Ask Such A Stupid Question?â
Pappu: âBecause You Drop Your Pants So Fast For The Toilet, But For Me, I Have To Really Struggleâ
Joke 3
Ek Aurat hath mai Hathoda le k apni Beti k college gai aur boli, "Kahna hai meri Beti ki class?"
Principal: "Bhenji, shanti Rakhe, baat kya hai?"
Aurat: "Aaj 5 din ho gaye meri Beti ki 5 chaddiyan phat gyi h..
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Aaj main
us ki
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Bench ki Keel thok k hi jauangi"
Joke 4
3 Ladkiya Tange Par College Ja Rahi Thi.
Ek Ladki Ne Tange Wale Se Puchha-Chacha Bada Lund Mazaa Deta Hai Ya Chhota?
Chacha-Ladkiyo Kuch To Sharm Karo!
Dusri Boli-Chacha Please Batao Na?
Bar Bar Puchne Pr Chacha Bole-Bada Lund!
Tabhi Teesri Boli-Main Kehti Thi na ki Chacha Gaand Marwate Hain.....
Joke 5
One of a very close friend of mine 'Suraj Chokhani' has come up with a very noble idea of "Save Food Eradicate Hunger".
The whole concept is after a party in our house we throw away a lot of food on the other hand Lacs of people sleep empty stomach.
He is introducing a Helpline from 15th of August in Kolkata where u can call and they will take away the spare food and distribute it among the less privileged.
Team 'Rajnikant Vs CID Jokes' wishes him all the success in this noble cause.
P.S.:
If anyone of you want to introduce similar programme in ur city u can get in touch with him on surajchokhani@gmail.com
Read More
Killing English
1. Principal To Student..." I Saw U
Yesterday Rotating Near Girls Hostel Pulling
Cigarette... ? "
2. Class Teacher Once Said :" Pick Up The
Paper And Fall In The Dustbin!!!"
3. Once Hindi Teacher Said...."I'm Going
Out Of The World To America.."
4. "..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY
BACK.."
5. Don't..Laugh At The Back
Benches...Otherwise Teeth And All Will Be
Fallen Down.....
6. It Was Very Hot In The Afternoon When
The Teacher Entered.. She Tried To Switch
The Fan On, But There Was Some Problem.
And Then She Said " Why Is Fan Not
Oning" (Ing Form Of On)
7. Teacher In A Furious Mood... Write
Down Ur Name And Father Of Ur Name!!
8. "Shhh... Quiet... The Principal Is
Revolving Around College"
9. My Manager Started Like This "Hi, I Am
Madhu, Married With Two Kids"
10. "Will U Hang That Calendar Or Else I'll
HANG MYSELF"
11. LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK
AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"
12. Chemistry HOD Comes And Tells Us...
"My Aim Is To Study My Son And Marry My
Daughter"
13. Tomorrow Call Ur Parents Especially
Mother And Father
14. "Why Are You Looking At The Monkeys
Outside When I Am In The Class?!"
15. Lab Assistant Said This When My Friend
Wrote Wrong Code.. "I Understand. You
Understand. Computer How Understand??
16. Seeing The Principal Passing By, The
Teacher Told The Noisy Class.. "Keep
Quiet, The Principal Has Passed Away"
17. Once Teacher Told "If U Talk So Loudly
I Will Stand Uping U"
18. Teacher To Students:Don't Spit
Outside, The Understand
Read More
Death came to a guy and said, “My friend today is your day”
Guy:- “But i’m not ready!”.
Then death said, “Well your name
is the next on my list”.
Guy:- “Okay why don’t you take a
seat and I will get you something
to eat before we go?”
Then death said,”All right..”
The guy gave death some food with
sleeping pills in it, death finished
eating and fell into a deep sleep.
The guy took the list & removed
his name from top of the list and
put into the bottom of the list.
When death woke up he said to the
guy, “Because you have been so
very nice to me,
I will start from the BOTTOM of
the list..”
Moral: Whatever is written in your
destiny…Will never change no
matter how much you try to…!
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Gubbarewala : Gubbare lelo gubbare..!!
Baccha: Oye Gubbarewale..!! Tu chahta hai saari duniya tere kadmo mein ho? :D
Gubbarewala: Ha.. Par kaise? o.O
Baccha: Rajnikanth ko Keechad mein gira de..
Fir jab wo ganda ho jayega tab usko apne Muh se pakad lena.. (Bite kar lena) :D
Gubbarewala: Is se Duniya mere kadmo mein kaise ayegi? :/
Baccha: Abey tune wo Advertisement nahi dekha..
"Muh mein Rajni-Gandha...Kadmo mein duniyaa..!!" xD
Gubbarewala: Hmmm..!! Saala Santre ka beej..!! -___-
Read More
